


I've Loved You For A Thousand Years

by Regrets_trademark



Category: Hamilton - Fandom, Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Comfort, Death, Depression, Ham being sad, John being the good boyfriend he is, M/M, Self Harm, dealing with hams moms death, sad stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-27
Updated: 2016-08-27
Packaged: 2018-08-11 10:09:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7887055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Regrets_trademark/pseuds/Regrets_trademark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hamilton gets depressed and self harms and Laurens finds him and makes him feel better.</p><p> </p><p>This idea came to me while listening to A Thousand Years by Christina Perri (hence the title.) I'm sorry everyone forgive me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I've Loved You For A Thousand Years

Alexander sat in the bathroom, eyes puffy and red from crying. The cool tile floor pressed against the hot skin of his bleeding thighs. He had gotten into one of his depressive spells earlier and zoned out, and when he came back he was curled up in the bathroom, blade in his hand and red beads starting to show up on his tan skin.

He sat there for a while feeling drained until he heard a key in the lock of the door. He panicked and quickly threw the blade in the toilet, flushing it and starting to clean up when he heard his lover’s voice.

“Alex I’m home early today and I brought take-out!” John called into the apartment before stepping in and placing his keys on the small table beside the door.

He didn’t see Alexander but noticed the bathroom light was on and the door was open so he made his way down the hall and stepped in the bathroom to see Alexander wiping blood off the floor and his thighs and John’s heart jumped up to his throat as he let out a choked sound that was supposed to be the other man’s name.

Alexander looked up at him from his spot on the floor and tears welled up quickly before gushing down his face in a flood. He could see his fiance’s heart breaking. 

“John I… I’m sorry.” He finally said after a long silence between the two. His throat felt dry and raw, burning as he spoke to the other. 

“Why?” John’s broken response came to him from the door before he heard the shuffling of cloth and the opening of the bathroom cabinet.

“I don’t know… I got in one of those depressive moods and it just sort of… Happened.” Alexander looked at his thigh and hissed as John poured rubbing alcohol onto the cuts. “Fuck that stings like a bitch.”

John let out a soft sigh and rolled his eyes at Alexander’s comment about his leg stinging. “Well you shouldn’t have done this.” He retorted with a small scoff. He cleaned him up and moved to get some gauze from the first aid kit in the bathroom, dressing his boyfriend’s wounds.

Alexander let John clean his wounds, feeling the shame and embarrassment cause his face to turn red. He grabbed John’s hand with his own after the other dressed his wounds and he pulled it up to his mouth and kissed it gently. 

“I’m sorry John.. I zoned out and when I zoned back in I was in the bathroom and my leg was all carved up.” He muttered quietly, turning his head to look at him before resting his head against the other’s shoulder. 

“It’s alright...” He placed his free hand over the bandages with a feather light touch. “Did anything make you feel the need to do that whatsoever?” 

“Yeah… I was uh…” He looked down, voice cracking as he spoke. “Thinking about my mom… I was thinking about how she deserves to be here and I don’t.. She should be the one here… I was so much sicker than she was John yet she was the one who…” He felt tears start to roll down his face again and then John’s hand was on his face to wipe them away with a soft thumb.

“Oh Alex..” He frowned as his boyfriend broke down in his arms. “She would be glad you lived instead darling… She would have never wanted to bury her baby boy.. You’ve accomplished so many great things too. She would be so proud of you and so happy that you were the one that survived being sick.” He said softly to his boyfriend before taking his hand out of Alexander’s to stroke his hair and hug him tightly with his other arm. 

Alexander turned and buried his face in John’s chest as soon as he did tears started to wet the fabric of the other man’s shirt. John continued to hold him though, hoping to provide comfort to his boyfriend as he rubbed his back.

“Thank you..” Alexander finally said, voice weak and barely above a whisper, balling his fists up against the other’s shirt before he let go and sniffled. “I… feel a lot better now.” He said quietly before looking up at his boyfriend and giving him a soft kiss.

“Come on Alex. Let’s get out of the bathroom... Plus the take out has probably gotten cold, we can curl up on the couch together while we eat cold food and watch National Treasure.” John added with a smile, tracing his boyfriend’s cheekbone softly with his fingertips. He stood up and helped Alexander up, making sure he could stand and ready to catch him if he needed support.

Alexander fixed his pants and took John’s hand, following him out of the bathroom and to the living room to curl up on the couch together. He realized in this moment that this would be the man he stayed with for the rest of his life.


End file.
